Rugby Saved My Life - So my team mate claims anyway ....

So - a good night by comparison to previous stays. Forgot to mention that this ward required me to do a liquids chart.  Measuring what goes in and what goes out.  So I had to pee in a jug and measure what had come out.  Seemed an arse ache but I went with it.  Reason is that they need to ensure I'm getting rid of whats being pumped in.  I could have confirmed that by the stench of my pee. Trust me - chemo pee isn't pleasant !  The other ward base it on weight. So after peeing out 8.2 litres overnight - they have agreed that I'm functioning well and I don't need to do the chart anymore !  Proud that I still have my bladder capacity of at least 1.2 litres - which is equivalent to two pints of stella. I did feel a bit of nausea during the night - so instead of "manning up" - I took the anti sickness pill - 15 minutes later - felt much better.  There is a time and a place to man up - midway during chemo is not the time ! Got a relatively ...

Today is the start of round 3 - or as I like to think of it - my last round of chemotherapy ! Actually had a bit of a lie in this morning and woke up about half 7 - best get ready for the day !  Shower, shave off the bum fluff that has pathetically grown over the past 2 days and admire the hair that has grown back since Friday when it was all shaved off.  Shame it's all about to drop out again ! At least I know it grows back quickly ! So I call up as normal to check my bed is available....... Yes it is - BUT - we are full - so you are on Oak ward this time.  WHAT? No room at the inn ?? I instantly get the hump. Why me? Why did I get the short straw ?  Seriously unimpressed.  Then I was given a reality check, it was Oak ward or they cancelled my chemo......... So we dropped the Boys at our friends house en route - thanks Lindsay for having them and taking them to lunch x. Upon arrival - I go via Kennaway Ward to drop a massive bit of sarcasm about being r...

A busy weekend - I guess you can call it making the most of it before I go back into The Marsden on Tuesday for Round 3. Tiredness levels are OK, just trying to shift this bloody cold before I go in but it's improving - which means my immune system is fighting back. We couldn't do camping - but we did make a day out of it instead. We packed the car up and took the cadac, chairs, a gazebo, table, plates, drinks and a sun lounger !  One day - looked like a week's worth of gear !  We had a fantastic day out and although I needed a disco nap in the afternoon, we really enjoyed the day. Ollie was really upset when we had to leave - he was tired and really wanted to stay - next year - and all the years after that. I managed a bit of gardening over the weekend - not loads - well actually planting 5 plants - that was hard work - needed a rest after that - satisfying that I achieved it and the garden looks good. Just glad we got them in before it lobbed it down with rain ! We...

So - I've managed to get this far through the treatment and I've got a bloody cold!! Both of the boys have had a cough for the past to weeks and it seems that I've managed to get a runny nose. It was inevitable it was going to happen at some point ! Had another blood test today as I had an appointment at the urology clinic at the Marsden. It seems that my blood count has dropped since Tuesday - although the Doctors aren't sure if that's from the chemo on Tuesday or from my cold.  They would expect it to be from the chemo but will have to see what my bloods are like on Tuesday when I start round 3. Today was the day, we were due to be going camping for the weekend.  Our annual camping trip with the poppy club.  Well, that isn't happening.  I had to make the annoyingly sensible decision that sleeping in a tent for the weekend, after putting it all up, wasn't the most intelligent thing to do presently.  Energy levels low, immune system low - it was and ...

It's when I manage to work a complete day and then only remember I'm having chemo when I look in the mirror, that I realise how lucky I've been so far. To the point that I'm combining Day 16 and 17 into one blog entry.   Sorry to be boring - but nothing happened that's even remotely interesting. Got up, worked, ferried kids around, had dinner, went to bed.  That's pretty much it ! The only real reminder is the bald head, remembering to slap on the factor 50 each morning and OK, maybe a bit more tired than normal in the evenings - but I'll take this every day. However - very aware that I'm going back in next week for round 3 - yes round 3 already - bloody marvelous !  - so need to ensure I'm in top condition and ready to take what I hope will be the final round.

Day 15 is chemo day.  So the usual drinking gallons of water all day to ensure that my veins are up and ready to get stabbed ! Early doors at the Marsden, 9am for bloods, which was simple.  Veins up, stab - blood out.  Job done.  Come back later on.  I'm due in at 5pm, but could get a call earlier. So I go home and start work.  Just before midday - I get a call - Marsden need me to come back and do my obs - and then I can have my chemo once approved by the Doctor. So i arrive at the Marsden at the same time Gethyn arrives from Wales for his Tuesday visit.  We have our observations taken and then head to the canteen for lunch and a catchup.   We head back up to Kennaway ward and I'm told that I'm good to go.  The advantage of living so close and having my blood test done early !  My bloods are good. Most people have a blood count of 150,000 - 400,000 - mine are currently at 159,000 - so I'm still just within the normal range. ...

Fairly short update today.  The short of it, is that after the gardening exploits yesterday, I ache a bit, but it's more muscular than anything else.  Using muscles I haven't used in a while.  Apart from that I'm OK. Spent most of the day on the phone in calls or writing some design documents - before I knew it - Nat was back from work and the boys were back from school. It was then I realised how tired I actually was.  Just mentally tired but pleased I'd achieved a full day. Mum and Dad are coming to stay for the night tomorrow, so I cooked up a bolognese for tomorrow (my token bit of cooking for the week), while Nat cooked our dinner. Quiet evening on the sofa to prepare me for tomorrow's chemo.

What a busy weekend.  Pleased to say that I'm back in the zone of "I feel totally normal"   albeit a bit worn out by the end of the day. Had a quiet Saturday morning, with the only intent of doing not a lot to ensure I wouldn't run out of steam before the end of the day. My mate John took Lewis climbing with Beefy - was nice for Lewis to get some extra climbing in outside of his lessons.  Thanks John. At lunchtime I headed up to the District Football Competition with Ollie and my Cubs.  I was there as parent supporter as I had two parents volunteer to run the team for me and referee. Thanks Neil and Matt - you were great !  4th Ewell went into the competition as winners from last year and we wanted to try and replicate last year.   The Cubs were brilliant. Won all of their group games and went into the final.  Played against a team of much older Cubs - "Are they Scouts?" asked one of the Cubs !   Nope- they were just big Cubs.  Big Cu...

That end of the week feeling.  I'm enjoying it more than usual - mainly as I woke feeling good. That feeling that for a moment, I could pretend that I'm not actually being loaded full of drugs to kill off this horrible bastard of a disease.   Did the school run, came home and worked.  ALL DAY !  Yes - no sleep required, no tiredness, just got stuck into work.  It was a great feeling and was nice to be able to deliver something without the need to stop and sleep ! By the end of the afternoon, the batteries had started to run down, mainly out of thinking all day!  Was good to have a productive working day. Ollie headed off to a sleepover for the night and Lewis went off to Scouts.  So - taking the opportunity, I took Nat out for something to eat.  A rare opportunity, but an opportunity not to be missed.   We had a lovely meal, but i started to tire by half 8 - so we came home and watched TV.  I'll save the going out out for anoth...

That feeling you've been somewhere before - yep - that. After a pretty good nights sleep, I woke up and it was a "normal" day.  Felt OK, no sickness or nausea, just needed a pee ! STILL ! Waked Ollie to school this morning for a bit of exercise and was pleased to make it there and back and still feel OK and not have the requirement to find my bed for an hour. Being able to work from home has been brilliant for me - it's given me the flexibility to work and rest and attend the appointments I need.  So today is one of those days.  Managed to work all morning as normal and then popped up to the cafe to treat myself to a sarnie and a coffee (no medicinal doughnut today!), before heading home for a conference call. Had an afternoon appointment with the rehabilitation team at The Marsden this afternoon. A very relaxing massage which removed all the knots and aches from my back and legs. A brilliant thing the Marsden offer and glad I took them up on it ! Steve did...

Starting to get back into the swing of things.  The "normality" has started to return again.  I must say - it's a very welcome return !  Feeling that rough hasn't been part of this treatment so far and I didn't enjoy it much ! I know I've been very lucky so far with how I've felt but the reminder is always there. Lurking ! Mum and Dad went home today - been great having them around to help and just being here.  I've worked most of the day, no naps happened. Although my planned longer walk was cut short due to the awful weather.  Steve came back today, for the next round of my injections.  He hadn't seen me since the hair went.  I was greeted with "Hello Kojak - or is it Dr Evil".  Bastard :)   Something struck me yesterday that made me really think.  I'm a bloke, who has always had short hair and I've struggled over the past week about having no hair.  How the hell must it feel for a woman, who maybe had long hair to the...

A better start to the day - I felt awful yesterday, so it was pleasantly refreshing to wake up this morning and feel a bit crap and nothing like yesterday.  Still the usual aches but I've resigned to that just existing throughout this.  So up and showered, breakfast done and ready to drop Ollie at school en route to The Marsden with Mum and Dad.  All good. So far. Got my bloods taken and then headed back home to do some work and busy myself for the rest of the morning.  Mum and Dad have been great, helping doing stuff in the garden for me - potting a plant I should have done weeks ago and Dad dug out a dead bush which Nat has been asking me to do for months - nice one M&D ! Had a sneaky power nap just before Mum and Dad took me to the cafe.  Nice grilled chicken and bacon special at the cafe by the school followed by a medicinal jam doughnut !  Yum !  Energy levels primed and ready for the afternoon chemo.   So work was interrupted by ...

I was falling asleep on the sofa from 9pm last night, so eventually went up to bed around 9.30pm - I was absolutely shattered. Spent the night up and down needing to pee... I'm starting to get used to this.   Woke up feeling like I have the worst case of manflu ever !  Aches in my arms, legs and generally feel awful. Not felt like this so far - it' a sign !  I must rest.   Plans for the day are to sleep and rest - "Dear work - sorry - not today".   I went back to sleep.  Late morning I decided to load up on some vitamins. Nutri bullet time.   Nurti bullet slops more like - I've never been one to work out measurements well - anyone been to a party at my house ? So the mixture wasn't quite as planned. The taste was good but consistency was a bit weird.  Anyway - loads of vitamins taken on board. Mum and Dad came to stay for a couple of days, it's great to have them here. I rested for the remainder of the day, I know what my body needs -...

Yesterday was a bit of a roller coast emotionally for me. The first time I've actually admitted to myself I've had a bad day mentally for a while.  I think the catalyst was seeing myself in the mirror for the first time with no hair - I hated it. It's not me, it isn't me.  It put me in a weird mood the most of the afternoon and evening.  I've had short hair, but not no hair. I was snappy, grumpy and shouty Dan and Dad.  I hate myself for that.  I've put these guys through so much - they don't need this as well.  Having the post chemo requirement for senna again also didn't help the situation. Hugs before bed and apologies from me for being a git. Early night for Dan - sleep is needed ! So - Sunday morning - the start of a new day - I wake up at 5am with the rain and the determination that today is going to be a good day.  Lots of coffee to aid the senna, some fibre cereal and some fruit. BINGO ! Anyway enough information ! I watch TV for a w...

So the first item on the agenda today was to read back what I did this time after the last round of chemo.  My first weekend after round 1, I felt fine and carried on as normal until I realised I was knackered. So I started this weekend, feeling tired and aching - a marker already. Rest, relax, recover.  I slept well last night, had to get up a couple of times to pee - but peeing is still good - it's getting the chemo through my system. Plenty of fluids during the day, taking my anti sickness tables with meals and doing as my body tells me.  Thanks to Jo for taking Ollie to training this morning, gave us an opportunity to sort a few bits out at home, in between me resting ! Took the boys for a haircut and was offered an unplanned tidy up as I'd started to go a bit patchy.  So on my last visit, they took my hair down to a grade 0. Today, they used a different razor. No more patches or bits of hair dropping out ! Bring out the polish ! Had an afternoon ...

So sleep happened !   Albeit broken by needing to pee every few hours.  But peeing is good - it meant that when I weighed myself this morning, I had lost 2KG - which meant that I didn't need anymore pee inducing drugs !  Result. So - I got my drugs and injections for the next week and Nat came along to collect me and bring me home.  Nothing like being at home... normality resumes again.  Well normal for now anyway. Had some lunch and then fell asleep !  Was a good battery re-charge and gave me the energy to walk up with Nat to surprise Ollie at pickup from school. A quiet remainder of the afternoon and an evening of watching footie with Lewis and Ollie. Tired but so glad to be home. Day 25 of 63 Done !

So - a better nights sleep last night.  Chemo finished at 2am, so was able to get some good zzz in overnight - albeit being interrupted by needing to pee every hour. Had the usual morning weigh in to discover that I've put on more weight - nothing to do with food, cake or biscuits apparently - more so retention of fluids.  So just to make sure i'm not retaining too much fluid - I've got more drugs to make me pee even more this morning !  Oh whoop ! Had a pleasant start to the day today - I was contacted by a friend - who I haven't seen for a long time, she works at the Marsden and was in Sutton today, so it was lovely of her to pop over and stop for a chat. Thanks Jo x While Jo was here - the nursing staff decided that they hadn't stabbed me with any needles for a while, so took some more blood for it to be tested. Then Neil came over - to keep me company for a while. He's taking Ollie's team to Chelsea tonight to watch the Chelsea U9'...

So an early start with not a huge amount of sleep but Day 1 complete and rocking into day 2. Good breakfast and a shower and I'm ready for the day, dozing on and off to get some extra zzzz's in when I can.   Mum and Dad came in to visit before they headed off to Cornwall which was great.  Then had some lunch and Nat came to visit for a bit, as well as my mate Rich - who endured the train to Belmont from Wimbledon - top man. Was good to see him for a cuppa and a catch up before they headed off. I managed to get a power nap in late afternoon, before dinner arrived and then Nat came back to visit with Steph who baked me a cake.  Gin and Tonic drizzle cake ! Visitor Rating 10/10 ! Thanks Steph x Chemo will finish about 1.30am / 2am tomorrow morning - so a night of TV and cake ahead ! Day 2 going OK so far - here's hoping for some decent sleep tonight !

So unlike the first round, I knew today was going to be a day of observations, blood tests, being stabbed with needles and eventually having chemo.  So I told Nat to go to work and save her the sitting around all day - and John gave me a lift - Thanks mate. I was planned to be in a room with two beds - the other was for Gethyn - yes my Chemo Friend ! However - I was ejected to another room, as they needed it for isolation ! So here I am - in Bed 2.  Gethyn also was moved opposite me.  Same drugs, same cycle - we even had identical blood pressure readings last night. You know what they say about women who live together...... So - after selecting my meals for the day, met the doctors and all was good to proceed. Result. All started about 4.30pm and then the marathon started. Time for loads of fluids to be loaded into me and the peeing marathon to start - every 40 minutes once the seal was broken.  I can hold a lot more lager than that normally - just hope ...

So - today is Day 21 - the last day of the first round of chemotherapy. The reason I wanted to write this blog, was for others to understand my personal journey / help others through their own journey - but also for me to look back and remember what happened and how I felt over the past few months, but also for how I felt during the chemo process. Looking back over the past 3 weeks, lessons learnt are that I don't have as much energy as I like to think I have, I need to rest, I can't do everything I want to do.  This is temporary and once I'm fixed and I've recovered - I can do anything I want. So, today - my last day of round 1 - I worked from home and prepared for the next round - which starts tomorrow.  Typical preparation, such as cutting the grass, cleaning the fish tank and emptying the bins - as they are "Blue Jobs". Then packed my clothes, work laptop and ipad.   I've been given my bag of goodies to take by Nat - a selection of snacks, drinks...

By comparison to previous weekends, this was a quiet weekend. No match for Ollie on Saturday and no rugby for Lewis on Sunday - oh how I've looked forward to having my Sunday's back ! The summer break is always nice. During the day on Saturday, we headed out to Horsham for a drive to the big camping shop down there as they had a show on.  Had a good nose around the tents but came away, as planned, with a new cadac for our summer holiday. Oh and a toasted sandwich maker - love a gadget !  Was nice to get out and have a drive with the family, round all the country lanes but even that wore me out a bit. Later that afternoon we dropped the boys at Nat's Mum's for the night as we were going out. So disco nap and then get ready to go out. Yes - I'm having chemo and I'm going out for beers !  Something I didn't think would happen. Although, to be fair - nowhere near the normal levels of booze consumed - on my part anyway - couple of pints of water have ...

So I woke up this morning with more hair starting to fall out, so it was time to take the plunge.  I went to see Tom at Cheam Salone  and he shaved my head for me - and then refused to take any money - what a total Gent. Thanks Tom. It was a bit of a shock, but I've got used to what it looks like.  Not quite used to the temperature yet though!   Had a business lunch today - read that as lunch with mate who can expense it - was good to catch up and then stopped in Epsom to get a hat !  Went via the old office and stopped for a cuppa. Was good to see some old faces and get some advice for balding heads ! Factor 50 i apparently the way forward ! The kids are impressed with the new hair - although Ollie described it as unusual initially - he was happy when I said it would grow back eventually. After a busy bit of socialising, did some more work and then did the usual Friday evening ferrying around Ollie to Footsal and Lewis to Scouts. Now time for a chee...

Went to the office today - on the basis that I'm feeling OK and that I have no chance of doing it next week.  Was actually nice to have a change of scenery and to catch up face to face with everyone. Decided to depart just after lunch - not through tiredness - mainly as the bloke sitting next to me arrived with a massive cough and cold. I just don't need to be catching that ! On my way home, I rubbed my eyebrow as it was itching - itch gone - as were quite a few eyebrow hairs ....... hmmmm.  So I tried the same on my head - same thing - a few hairs on my hand.... it's starting to fall out.   I did wonder when it would start - normally around the three week mark apparently - well that is next week - oh well - that's the next "wonder when that will happen" question answered. I've always had my hair short, but the thought of it all falling out, is suddenly a bit scary. I know it will grow back. It's temporary and it could be a lot worse, so I'...

So it appears that I seem to ache after Day 8 and 15 treatments.  Arms and legs mainly but almost the same reaction to last week. At least I'm consistent.  No sickness still either.  Walked Ollie to school this morning which got me out and about but noticed my energy levels were lower.  Take it easy today !  Good job I'm working from home.  Nat found me a local lady who is trained in massage for chemotherapy patients.  Well worth the money ! Aches have subsided and I feel quite relaxed.  I'm have a complimentary massage through the Marsden, but they can't do anything as an outpatient for two weeks - however - when I go in next week to start round 2 - I can get an inpatient appointment while I'm there.  I'll be taking advantage of that ! Aiming to head to the office tomorrow, so an early night is needed.

So back to normality after the Bank Holiday weekend. Had a reminder from my body yesterday that I'm still part of this marathon and energy levels are limited.  I tidied the sheds up - was only out there 45 minutes and was completely knackered at the end of it.   Message received - too much !! Anyway - a good nights sleep and back to normal today ! Went for the early blood test to miss the rush - great idea eh !  Me and everyone else it seemed - I arrived for my blood test, to take a ticket and wait for the 35 people before me to have their bloods taken. I went for a cuppa !  When I returned - I checked and there were still loads waiting - then I heard something brilliant "Anyone having IV chemo today?"  "Yep" said I - "Go straight through". Winner !!!!!  So bloods done - and back home until later - and do some work. Went back for my 2pm appointment, met with the Doctor who went through the normal questions, asking if I had any sickness, upset s...