Rugby Saved My Life - So my team mate claims anyway ....

So today was the first visit back to The Marsden since the end of June. I had my bloods taken early in preparation for my late morning appointment.   Was weird being back there, a mix of emotions and suddenly that feeling of worry I might be told something bad - no idea why - I just did . The thought of - "what if it's come back?" - I mentally slapped myself! Not going to happen ! Eventually I got to see the the main man, Professor Huddart. He checked me over and told me he was really pleased with my progress. Impressed my hair had grown back dark, not grey and that I was training again. He was more pleased with the last set of test results and scans and that in short the plan had come together and we were seeing the expected results. The results being that the cancer has gone. I was sent for a routine chest X-ray and afterwards I popped up to see the staff on Kennaway ward. Was lovely to see them again and they all wanted to know how I was and were delighted...

So I was told that your hair does weird things when it comes back. So far - it's not ginger - it's either grey or brown - so nothing much different from before - although a lot more grey seems to have appeared !  It's not gone curly either - to be fair - it would never get long enough to go curly ! What is weird, is that my hair is soooo soft - I feel like if I leave it I could do an advert for Johnsons Baby Shampoo !  I'm sure it will change again as I will keep on trimming it. My beard growth is back to normal - if anything it's growing a lot thicker than before and I'm pretty much back to a daily shave Still working away at rugby training.  Last two weeks have been killer - but no pain no gain.  The season is approaching - so need to prepare - OK - so going to France for a couple of weeks isn't going to help - but hey - sometimes you just need to relax and have fun !

So it's been a month (and one day) since I last had any chemo.  Life is good. In summary:  Tiredness has gone, daytime naps are a thing of the distant past. I'm back to work properly. Everyone got used to me not having any hair. Now my hair is growing, they will have to get used to me with hair again - albeit a bit grey and a bit baby soft.  Currently not curly or ginger - much to the disappointment of some of my mates !   I still don't have a full head of hair by any means but it's coming and I keep getting Nat to cut it back, so I have an even cut - as it grows at varied lengths ! But it's getting there and I now am just on the cusp of having enough hair to say I have a very short haircut - the hair definition is almost back !   As I've said before - I didn't like myself with no hair and although everyone said it suited me - I didn't like it.  Plus It's horrible when it rains with a bald head !  Another couple of months and that bi...

It's quite weird how intense the last few months have been.  Constant updates on what's going on as each day I felt different on a daily basis. Now though, each day is just normal life. Kids go to school, we go to work, planning our summer holiday etc.   Now I'm not saying for a second that I would rather be occupied with having loads of chemo shoved into my veins - I don't plan on having that again.  But it makes you realise how it did take over my life for that short space of time and how everything I've started to do again now, had to be done by others.  For that - I can never say Thank You enough. For me now - my tiredness has pretty much gone.  I'm working on my strength, working on getting fitter - although I will be starting pre-season training at Sutton and Epsom next week - I can't wait - new fitness coaches for my side - with the brief to make us all machines by the start of the season (oh and to see who is sick first due to training).  It...

So after the wait for the CT scan results, the happiness and the jubilation that I've been told no more treatment. The focus is on getting back to normal life. I've spent the weekend with Cubs and Scouts at their camps and Nat is away having a well deserved few days away. I'm knackered !  Had a couple of late nights and on top of everything else this weekend, I think it was a bit much.  I'm OK, just need some more zzzzzz time !  Couple of early night needed me thinks ! My hair has started to grow back, maybe the grey ones come back first ......... either that or it might be a reason for the "just for men" hair dye ! We shall see ! The cold that has been lurking for weeks has finally done one !  About bloody time ! Went to the office today and has a good catch up there but was reminded that I still need to take it easy and be sensible.  Which I am and will continue to do so for the next few months.

Funnily enough - I woke up early this morning. Today is the day we visit clinic and we will find out the results of the CT scan. So we got to the Marsden early, had bloods taken and had the traditional breakfast in the canteen. So - 10am comes around quickly - and we meet with one of the Doctors - Ironically - the same Doctor who told us what Chemo I would need at the beginning. He was quick to the point.  "Hi - it's good news" I switched off at that point. I almost burst with happiness.  You know when you are happy and you get that daft grin - yep that. After lots of questions from me and Nat - the summary is : The Chemo has reduced the tumour in the lymph node sufficiently that they can't see it anymore,  The tumour markers in my blood are normal.  Therefore - as far as they are concerned - it's gone. I will be checked every 2 months for the first year for tumour markers and I will have another CT scan in 6 months. Happy doesn't come close to h...

So - now is the time of waiting.  The scan is done and the doctors are meeting today, where they will review my case.  I've not heard anything so far since the scan, so there is clearly nothing new wrong from the CT scan. So I have to wait until Friday to find out what's next for me. Honestly - it's painful if I think about it.  So I'm not thinking about it !!!  Plenty to be getting on with.  Work is busy, so burying myself in that - as I am feeling like me again.  Remains of the cold still exist but it's gradually easing off -  but I'm not tired during the day as before and not feeling the need to go to bed at 9pm either ! The support of everyone through this so far has been amazing. The support from Nat, my Boys and Family has been incredible. Let's hope Friday brings the news we all want to hear. Thinking positive, being confident - quietly confident.  Let's see what Friday brings x