Operation

So today is the day - A right Orchidectomy - or to translate - removal of the right testicle under general anesthetic (why the hell would you do it with a local anesthetic is beyond me).

So I book in and was greeted by a familiar face - a friends Sister was looking after me - after I'd confirmed that I was OK with that.  Honestly, it put me at ease knowing the person in the hospital. 

I met the doctor and we discussed the operation and what was due to happen.  Keyhole surgery, remove the bad testicle, take a sample of the left testicle (to check no spread of anything) and then I had a choice - to replace the removed testicle with a prosthetic one.

So I'd had some chats with mates over this. Mostly completely unhelpful "Can you pick the weight and size?" "Can you get a titanium one?" "Can you get an extra one added"...... Thanks chaps 😁

The Doctor gave me some details around the pro's and con's for each option and was told to think about it properly and advise once I went down for anesthetic.

So the time came - I was taken down to theatre and met the anesthetist who prepared me to go under.  I spoke with the Doctor and advised him of my decision - to NOT have a prosthetic replacement.  It doesn't do anything, it might not be the same size, could be rejected, could cause infection - do you know what - let's not go there. Paperwork signed. Ready to go.

I got a bit teary at this point - hell I was scared - thank you Nicola - you reassured me and stayed with me, as promised until I felt very sleeeeepy........ 

And you are back in the room !

That initial thoughts of where the hell am I? Whats going on.  Oh bloody hell that's sore if I move ! I was in recovery, I'd survived. I was being fixed.

I spent the next couple of hours coming round from the anesthetic and as it was a day case - I had to go home that day - but had to pee before I left.

Top tip - sit on the toilet post operation. If you think you had directional issues taking a pee standing up before an orchidectomy then you wait. You can't guess, left, right, up, down or a combination of all !!! Safest bet is to take a seat and not worry !


The Doctor came and saw me and talked me through the operation and what had been done - he mentioned that the CT scan had showed activity in one of my lymph nodes and that my next port of call would be The Royal Marsden in Sutton.

I was very swollen - but I expected it to be swollen - what I hadn't expected was the size of the keyhole - it clearly didn't happen and I had a large incision in my groin and a hugely swollen old chap. Not swollen in a way to impress the ladies and as for my scrotum - remember Buster Gonad from Viz (if not google it !). It was crazy - wear tight supportive underwear - if you can fit yourself into them !

I walked out to the car like John Wayne with painkillers and Nat took me home.  Time to rest and time to heal.  I could shower in a couple of days and it would be all good...... we are on the road to recovery.


Nicola - thank you for your kindness, you were a star !